Be brave, a typical word people are saying to someone about to face something fearful. And this words, maybe will just got in through one ear and then came out the other ear. not so impactful. but yet it is the word that you have to say to yourself constantly. because this words, it really helps you.
there will be a time where you have to make a choice, and choices is usually based on two: it’s either safer but less rewarding, or riskier but will give you greater reward. And people are usually pick the former. Why? because it’s safe. Our brain is programmed automatically to avoid risk and danger. Sure you have heard of Amygdala right? It is a part of brain that responsible for your flight or fight response. It activated when you face something that your brain think it is dangerous, uncertain, and risky. This Amygdala tend to make you ‘run away’ from those things, because it is safe, because Amygdala is our ‘survival instinct’.
But, we have of course, another part of brain that can control your response to these dangerous, uncertain, and risky things. It’s called the Frontal Lobe. The Frontal Lobe has an executive function. It is a function that only human being has. The executive functions is a collection of cognitive skills including the capacity to plan, organize, initiate, self-monitor and control one’s responses in order to achieve a goal. Yes it is the tool that we have to control our response. This thing is amazing.
So with the Frontal Lobe, when you face a certain things or events that has the word ‘dangerous’ atributed to it, you can control your response to not automatically run away from it, yet you can chose to ‘fight’ it. you can chose the choice that have greater reward. But it isn’t that easy. The Amygdala will fight you for it. And if we don’t have proper weapon to fight it, we gonna lose, and that’s what happened most of the time. These weapons you can use are reasoning, plan, believe, etc. There are many weapons that we can actually use but we just don’t know how. And this is my weapon that I know, that I usually use, and that are effective. The weapon is these words:
Be brave.
Followed by “always pick the choice that fears you, It usually bring greater reward for you. And It will worth it”. Associate those ‘be brave’ words to ‘greater reward’. And when you think of those words, you will think of the greater reward that you will get if you pick the choices which fears you the most.
It really help me when I faced with hard choices. I always think to ‘be brave’ and then I automatically think of the greater rewards that I will get. And that’s enough push for me. It is my easiest to use weapon to fight the Amygdala. If the Amygdala give you a hard time, and rather controlled your life and decision most of the time, and you can’t get the greater rewards, try this my finest weapon.
I really hope this will work for you as it is work for me. If it doesn’t, try to find your finest weapon that work for you. You can create your own ‘cue’ words, you can create some methods like thinking it through and do some planning, or anything. You can experiment on many things. make sure you find it.
Amygdala isn’t bad. It makes you safe. As safety is one of human basic needs according to Abraham Maslow’s pyramid of needs. It actually take care of you. I like to think it is like a mother, a mother will always protect you from danger, to make you safe. But, to grow you got to be accountable for yourself, you got to let go of that ‘mother’s cradle’ you’ve been living in. You got to face the world and make a good thing of it, get that ‘greater rewards’ out of it. And the first step is to take control of yourself and that Amygdala.
Life Is A Game 